


Instructions unclear

by PoisonJack



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, General au, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rhys is Handsome Jack's Personal Assistant, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 17:45:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17006247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonJack/pseuds/PoisonJack
Summary: Jack gets some boner-enlargement serum he wants to test out with Rhys. Neither of these idiots can read instructions though, sooo it doesn't work as planned.One of my older works from a tumblr sentence prompt meme:“I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ lmao





	Instructions unclear

**Author's Note:**

> These pair of horny idiots were made for each other AHAHA

Rhys was bringing up a box Jack had had him fetch from the loading docks. There was a shipment in from the Edens, and Rhys was mildly excited by the task. The last time Jack had him pick up a box for him, it was full of sweet booze and expensive candy and a few other items a company there was trying to get Helios to carry on the station. Jack had let Rhys go to town on all the goodies there. 

This time the box was considerably smaller– Rhys could carry it in one elbow.  


He signed for it, took the box and tested its weight in his hands. He shrugged, hefted it against his hip, and made his way back to the office. While he rode the elevator up, he gave the box a back and forth shake, inspected the sender, and couldn’t for the life of him figure out what might be in there.  


He entered the office to find Jack typing away at his desk, the younger man still looking curiously down at the box in his hands. “It’s not candy, is it?” Rhys posed as he approached the other man.

Jack grinned. “Oh hey! Finally I’ve been waiting for this for ages. Open it up for me, kitten.”

Rhys did as he was told, bringing the box to his desk and opening it up. There were a lot of packing materials inside, the box _clearly_ too big for whatever was in there. He finally found a smaller packaged box from within, and pulled it out.  


“What did you order?” Rhys asked as he turned back to the other man.

“That, pumpkin, is going to revolutionize our bottom line, make the shareholders _very_ happy, and highly improve our quality of living. Not that we don’t live it up already. Can’t have enough nice shit though am I right?”  


Jack was standing there yammering away with no pants on, naked from the waist down. His shoes were still on though, which made Rhys utterly amused.  


“Well, open it up, princess.”

“I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else,” Rhys told the CEO with a laugh.  


Jack looked down at himself with a raised brow, then back at Rhys, expression unimpressed, as if wondering what was so amusing. He asked as much.

“Why aren’t you wearing pants?” the younger man asked with a smirk, looking away with slightly pink cheeks in amusement.  


“I don’t want them getting in the way. Now open the thing, dammit.”

Rhys couldn’t look at Jack, interested and also amused, his half-naked form a distraction as he opened the smaller package with a smile. There was a vial inside, pink viscous liquid simply labeled with white sticker and black type: BNR12.

Jack’s chin was on his shoulder, the older man making an amused noise in his throat. “Yeeeeeah there we go. Let’s try this shit out.”

Rhys turned his head to the side, still smirking in amusement, his brow raised in curiosity at the older man. “Jack…do I even want to know?”

“You’re gonna like this stuff, kitten. It’s–”

“Please don’t tell me it’s related to your dick.”

“Don’t interrupt me,” Jack said, grabbing the younger man’s hips. “This stuff is legitimate boner enlarger. You’re not gonna sit down for a week, sweetheart.”

Rhys turned in Jack’s arms, giving him a humoring look. “You don’t seriously buy into that stuff, Jack.”

“I’ve heard a lot of good things, lots of reputable sources. It’s gonna work.”

“Sounds like bullshit, Jack.” Rhys snorted in thought. “Why do you want it anyways, handsome?” He wrapped both arms around the older man, pulling him against him.

“Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face and lube me up,” Jack told him with furrowed brow.  


Rhys couldn’t help the look on his face, pressed his lips to Jack’s with a laugh, and tugged the older man towards the couch in the office. He was game to indulge the older man, and a little interested that the thick pink liquid might work.

Jack groaned as Rhys worked him over with his flesh hand, the pink liquid worked onto the CEO’s cock. Rhys asked how it felt, and when Jack told him “amazing” and to “keep doing that, baby”, he laughed and meant the fluid from the vial. Jack said it didn’t feel any different, and reluctantly had him stop.  


They waited together, Jack looking at his cock and wondering aloud how long it would take to work. Rhys got up from the couch to dig around in the package again, looking to see if he’d missed some instructions or anything. He found a tiny white slip of paper, and looked up at the CEO.

“How much longer, kitten?” Jack groaned. “Get back over here.”

Rhys grinned, sitting next to the older man and pressing a kiss to his neck and a hand on his thigh. “It says ten minutes, handsome.”

“Mm… Well, what do you think?” He gave his cock a judgmental look, and Rhys just laughed in his ear.  


“You’re supposed to drink it, Jack.”

Jack was quiet a few moments, the younger man squeezing his thigh and pressing smirking kisses to his neck. The older man demanded that Rhys stop laughing, and see if it didn’t work on him instead if the younger man sucked on his dick.  


Rhys rolled his eyes but enthusiastically dropped to his knees before the CEO. They ended up still having a fun afternoon, but nothing otherwise out of the ordinary happened.  


Jack didn’t end up ordering another vial of the product that Rhys knew. Or if he did, well, it certainly didn’t “improve” upon the older man. Rhys only stopped teasing about the incident when Jack started making him sleep on the couch.

**Author's Note:**

> Well rhys, you might be sleeping on the couch, but at least you've got the upper hand for once ahaha xD Rubbing that shit on your dick has the samme effectiveness of pouring a coffee on yourself to get a caffeine high like come on jack.
> 
> [my tumblr](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/) | [my fic masterlist archive](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/post/134979026515/poisonjack-ao3-fic-archive) | [my twitter](https://twitter.com/PurgeThatUrge) | [my pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/PoisonJack)  
> (Just an FYI: you'll need to be logged in to tumblr for my blog to show up since it's marked explicit :D)
> 
> Please leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed! ao3 FAQ: [Can I post comments anonymously, or if I don't have an Archive account? ](https://archiveofourown.org/faq/comments-and-kudos?language_id=en#anoncomment)


End file.
